A Bridge Between Cultures
There are two cultures in the deaf world. Those born deaf that use British Sign Language and do not view deafness as a disability and those who become deafend later in life. There is now another shared culture, [led by Deaf Scotland] under 'The 4 Pillars of Deafness' which incorporates both along with hard of hearing and Deafblind.
I was born in Sri Lanka and after being adopted, my hearing was only then diagnosed as severe, requiring me to wear hearing aids for the entirety of my life. Growing up I had become used to lip reading and using body language cues - essential skills in social situations. But these helpful strategies come with their own struggles of concentration fatigue; as a deaf person I have to strain to hear everything all the time and then filter what is relevant at the same time which is mentally exhausting. School teachers belittling me with ‘goldfish talk’ didn’t help my confidence but I learned to live with the mocking remarks and led a very normal life.
Until I woke up one day at 25 years old, having lost what was left of my hearing one one side without warning. My whole world of sound was changed and when most failed to recognise the severity of the impact I took to using the analogy ‘if you wore glasses and suddenly woke up blind in one eye how would you feel?’ It not only changed my hearing but changed my identity and years later I am still getting used to identifying as Deaf not hard of hearing. The process was made harder by the fact that I don’t fit into the culture of the Deaf community, I am not viewed as deaf because English is my first language and I had never felt the need to become involved with BSL or other aspects of the Deaf community. My parents viewed me as a bridge between the two cultures which I only went along with because I desperately wanted to belong to one.
When my hearing completely changed it motivated me to become more involved in the deaf community. I started reading news articles and volunteering for clubs which really helped me to relate to other people and find my feet. Immersion into Deaf culture changed my life and now I work for a company that helps support deaf people and their families which has been so rewarding because now I know I can use my experiences to help others adjust too. I have even helped elderly people persevere with their hearing aids because my lived experience made me relatable to them. I am proud of the bridge I stand on between the two cultures in the Deaf community because now that I can switch between BSL and English my circle of friends has grown, I have become more involved in Deaf culture and have been able to support people both professionally and personally with my knowledge of Deaf issues and rights.
I miss the little things like the sound of the water lapping when I go swimming but I have now become confident in my identity. I don’t hide my deafness, I am not embarrassed and I wouldn’t change it because I have learned compassion and the importance of being kind to myself.
Malaika’s journey of hearing loss is a story of strength. Being Deaf or hard of hearing does not make you inferior. Deafness is described as something that separates people from people. If you know someone who is deaf help break down that social barrier by being patient, especially during the pandemic which has increased communication difficulties.
Like Malaika, be a bridge between cultures.